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Random Sentences
Use JavaScript to write a random sentence to your web page. Unlike the other random scripts that pick one of 60, this script NEVER uses the same sentence twice! It picks a new subject, verb, and object combination for each page load.
Insert into <HEAD>
<SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript"> <!-- Begin function qrand(n) { RandSeed = (RandMultiplier * RandSeed + RandIncrement) % 0x7fffffff return (RandSeed >> 16) % n } function qinit() { RandMultiplier = 0x015a4e35 RandIncrement = 1 var now = new Date() RandSeed = now.getTime() % 0xffffffff FirstSentence = 1 FirstAmerica = 1 } function GenRandomSentenceTemplate() { var w = "" var n = 17 var r = qrand(n+5) if ( r > n ) w = "1 2 1." else if ( r == 1 ) w = "1 2 1, 3 1 2 1." else if ( r == 2 ) w = "When 1 4, 1 4." else if ( r == 3 ) w = "If 1 2 1, then 1 4." else if ( r == 4 ) w = "Sometimes 1 4, but 1 always 2 1!" else if ( r == 5 ) w = "Most people believe that 1 2 1, but they need to remember how 7 1 4." else if ( r == 6 ) { if ( FirstAmerica ) { FirstAmerica = 0 w = "1, 1, and 1 are what made America great!" } else { w = "1 2 1." } } else if ( r == 7 ) w = "1 4, 3 1 2 1." else if ( r == 8 ) w = "Now and then, 1 2 1." else if ( r == 9 ) w = "1 4, and 1 4; however, 1 2 1." else if ( r == 10 ) { if ( FirstSentence ) { w = "1 2 1." } else { w = "Indeed, 1 2 1." } } else if ( r == 11 ) { if ( FirstSentence ) { w = "1 2 1." } else { w = "Furthermore, 1 4, and 1 2 1." } } else if ( r == 12 ) { if ( FirstSentence ) { w = "1 2 1." } else { w = "For example, 1 indicates that 1 2 1." } } else if ( r == 13 ) w = "When you see 1, it means that 1 4." else if ( r == 14 ) w = "Any 0 can 5 1, but it takes a real 0 to 5 1." else if ( r == 15 ) w = "1 is 6." else if ( r == 16 ) w = "When 1 is 6, 1 2 1." FirstSentence = 0 return w } function GenNoun() { var n = 125 var r = qrand(n) var w = "" if ( r == 0 ) w = "cocker spaniel" else if ( r == 1 ) w = "roller coaster" else if ( r == 2 ) w = "abstraction" else if ( r == 3 ) w = "pine cone" else if ( r == 4 ) w = "microscope" else if ( r == 5 ) w = "bottle of beer" else if ( r == 6 ) w = "bowling ball" else if ( r == 7 ) w = "grain of sand" else if ( r == 8 ) w = "wheelbarrow" else if ( r == 9 ) w = "pork chop" else if ( r == 10 ) w = "bullfrog" else if ( r == 11 ) w = "squid" else if ( r == 12 ) w = "tripod" else if ( r == 13 ) w = "girl scout" else if ( r == 14 ) w = "light bulb" else if ( r == 15 ) w = "hole puncher" else if ( r == 16 ) w = "carpet tack" else if ( r == 17 ) w = "submarine" else if ( r == 18 ) w = "diskette" else if ( r == 19 ) w = "tape recorder" else if ( r == 20 ) w = "anomaly" else if ( r == 21 ) w = "insurance agent" else if ( r == 22 ) w = "mortician" else if ( r == 23 ) w = "fire hydrant" else if ( r == 24 ) w = "photon" else if ( r == 25 ) w = "line dancer" else if ( r == 26 ) w = "paper napkin" else if ( r == 27 ) w = "stovepipe" else if ( r == 28 ) w = "graduated cylinder" else if ( r == 29 ) w = "hydrogen atom" else if ( r == 30 ) w = "garbage can" else if ( r == 31 ) w = "reactor" else if ( r == 32 ) w = "power drill" else if ( r == 33 ) w = "scooby snack" else if ( r == 34 ) w = "freight train" else if ( r == 35 ) w = "ocean" else if ( r == 36 ) w = "bartender" else if ( r == 37 ) w = "senator" else if ( r == 38 ) w = "mating ritual" else if ( r == 39 ) w = "briar patch" else if ( r == 40 ) w = "jersey cow" else if ( r == 41 ) w = "chain saw" else if ( r == 42 ) w = "prime minister" else if ( r == 43 ) w = "cargo bay" else if ( r == 44 ) w = "buzzard" else if ( r == 45 ) w = "polar bear" else if ( r == 46 ) w = "tomato" else if ( r == 47 ) w = "razor blade" else if ( r == 48 ) w = "ball bearing" else if ( r == 49 ) w = "fighter pilot" else if ( r == 50 ) w = "support group" else if ( r == 51 ) w = "fundraiser" else if ( r == 52 ) w = "cowboy" else if ( r == 53 ) w = "football team" else if ( r == 54 ) w = "cab driver" else if ( r == 55 ) w = "nation" else if ( r == 56 ) w = "ski lodge" else if ( r == 57 ) w = "mastadon" else if ( r == 58 ) w = "recliner" else if ( r == 59 ) w = "minivan" else if ( r == 60 ) w = "deficit" else if ( r == 61 ) w = "food stamp" else if ( r == 62 ) w = "wedding dress" else if ( r == 63 ) w = "fairy" else if ( r == 64 ) w = "globule" else if ( r == 65 ) w = "movie theater" else if ( r == 66 ) w = "tornado" else if ( r == 67 ) w = "rattlesnake" else if ( r == 68 ) w = "CEO" else if ( r == 69 ) w = "corporation" else if ( r == 70 ) w = "plaintiff" else if ( r == 71 ) w = "class action suit" else if ( r == 72 ) w = "judge" else if ( r == 73 ) w = "defendant" else if ( r == 74 ) w = "dust bunny" else if ( r == 75 ) w = "vacuum cleaner" else if ( r == 76 ) w = "lover" else if ( r == 77 ) w = "sandwich" else if ( r == 78 ) w = "hockey player" else if ( r == 79 ) w = "avocado pit" else if ( r == 80 ) w = "fruit cake" else if ( r == 81 ) w = "turkey" else if ( r == 82 ) w = "sheriff" else if ( r == 83 ) w = "apartment building" else if ( r == 84 ) w = "industrial complex" else if ( r == 85 ) w = "inferiority complex" else if ( r == 86 ) w = "salad dressing" else if ( r == 87 ) w = "short order cook" else if ( r == 88 ) w = "pig pen" else if ( r == 89 ) w = "grand piano" else if ( r == 90 ) w = "tuba player" else if ( r == 91 ) w = "traffic light" else if ( r == 92 ) w = "turn signal" else if ( r == 93 ) w = "paycheck" else if ( r == 94 ) w = "blood clot" else if ( r == 95 ) w = "earring" else if ( r == 96 ) w = "blithe spirit" else if ( r == 97 ) w = "customer" else if ( r == 98 ) w = "warranty" else if ( r == 99 ) w = "grizzly bear" else if ( r == 100 ) w = "cyprus mulch" else if ( r == 101 ) w = "pit viper" else if ( r == 102 ) w = "crank case" else if ( r == 103 ) w = "oil filter" else if ( r == 104 ) w = "steam engine" else if ( r == 105 ) w = "chestnut" else if ( r == 106 ) w = "chess board" else if ( r == 107 ) w = "pickup truck" else if ( r == 108 ) w = "cheese wheel" else if ( r == 109 ) w = "eggplant" else if ( r == 110 ) w = "umbrella" else if ( r == 111 ) w = "skyscraper" else if ( r == 112 ) w = "dolphin" else if ( r == 113 ) w = "asteroid" else if ( r == 114 ) w = "parking lot" else if ( r == 115 ) w = "demon" else if ( r == 116 ) w = "tabloid" else if ( r == 117 ) w = "particle accelerator" else if ( r == 118 ) w = "cloud formation" else if ( r == 119 ) w = "cashier" else if ( r == 120 ) w = "burglar" else if ( r == 121 ) w = "spider" else if ( r == 122 ) w = "cough syrup" else if ( r == 123 ) w = "satellite" else if ( r == 124 ) w = "scythe" return w } function GenPreposition() { var n = 14 var r = qrand(n) var w = "" if ( r == 0 ) w = "of" else if ( r == 1 ) w = "from" else if ( r == 2 ) w = "near" else if ( r == 3 ) w = "about" else if ( r == 4 ) w = "around" else if ( r == 5 ) w = "for" else if ( r == 6 ) w = "toward" else if ( r == 7 ) w = "over" else if ( r == 8 ) w = "behind" else if ( r == 9 ) w = "beyond" else if ( r == 10 ) w = "related to" else if ( r == 11 ) w = "defined by" else if ( r == 12 ) w = "inside" else if ( r == 13 ) w = "living with" return w } function GenNounPhrase(depth) { var phraseKind = qrand(3) var s = "" if ( phraseKind == 0 || depth>0 ) { s = GenNoun() } else if ( phraseKind == 1 ) { s = GenAdjective() + " " + GenNoun() } else if ( phraseKind == 2 ) { s = GenNoun() + " " + GenPreposition() + " " + GenNounPhrase(depth+1) } var r = qrand(100) if ( r < 30 ) { s = "the " + s } else if ( r < 35 ) { s = "another " + s } else if ( r < 40 ) { s = "some " + s } else { var c = s.substring(0,1).toLowerCase() if ( (s.substring(0,8) != "Eurasian") && (c=='a' || c=='e' || c=='i' || c=='o' || c=='u') ) { s = "an " + s } else { s = "a " + s } } return s } function GenAdverb() { var n = 28 var r = qrand(n) var s = "" if ( r == 0 ) s = "knowingly" else if ( r == 1 ) s = "slyly" else if ( r == 2 ) s = "greedily" else if ( r == 3 ) s = "hesitantly" else if ( r == 4 ) s = "secretly" else if ( r == 5 ) s = "carelessly" else if ( r == 6 ) s = "thoroughly" else if ( r == 7 ) s = "barely" else if ( r == 8 ) s = "ridiculously" else if ( r == 9 ) s = "non-chalantly" else if ( r == 10 ) s = "hardly" else if ( r == 11 ) s = "eagerly" else if ( r == 12 ) s = "feverishly" else if ( r == 13 ) s = "lazily" else if ( r == 14 ) s = "inexorably" else if ( r == 15 ) s = "accurately" else if ( r == 16 ) s = "accidentally" else if ( r == 17 ) s = "completely" else if ( r == 18 ) s = "usually" else if ( r == 19 ) s = "single-handledly" else if ( r == 20 ) s = "underhandedly" else if ( r == 21 ) s = "almost" else if ( r == 22 ) s = "wisely" else if ( r == 23 ) s = "ostensibly" else if ( r == 24 ) s = "somewhat" else if ( r == 25 ) s = "overwhelmingly" else if ( r == 26 ) s = "seldom" else if ( r == 27 ) s = "often" return s } function GenAdjective() { var n = 105 var r = qrand(n) var w = "" if ( r == 0 ) w = "slow" else if ( r == 1 ) w = "surly" else if ( r == 2 ) w = "gentle" else if ( r == 3 ) w = "optimal" else if ( r == 4 ) w = "treacherous" else if ( r == 5 ) w = "loyal" else if ( r == 6 ) w = "smelly" else if ( r == 7 ) w = "ravishing" else if ( r == 8 ) w = "annoying" else if ( r == 9 ) w = "burly" else if ( r == 10 ) w = "raspy" else if ( r == 11 ) w = "moldy" else if ( r == 12 ) w = "blotched" else if ( r == 13 ) w = "federal" else if ( r == 14 ) w = "phony" else if ( r == 15 ) w = "magnificent" else if ( r == 16 ) w = "alleged" else if ( r == 17 ) w = "crispy" else if ( r == 18 ) w = "gratifying" else if ( r == 19 ) w = "elusive" else if ( r == 20 ) w = "revered" else if ( r == 21 ) w = "spartan" else if ( r == 22 ) w = "righteous" else if ( r == 23 ) w = "mysterious" else if ( r == 24 ) w = "worldly" else if ( r == 25 ) w = "cosmopolitan" else if ( r == 26 ) w = "college-educated" else if ( r == 27 ) w = "bohemian" else if ( r == 28 ) w = "statesmanlike" else if ( r == 29 ) w = "stoic" else if ( r == 30 ) w = "hypnotic" else if ( r == 31 ) w = "dirt-encrusted" else if ( r == 32 ) w = "purple" else if ( r == 33 ) w = "infected" else if ( r == 34 ) w = "shabby" else if ( r == 35 ) w = "tattered" else if ( r == 36 ) w = "South American" else if ( r == 37 ) w = "Alaskan" else if ( r == 38 ) w = "overripe" else if ( r == 39 ) w = "self-loathing" else if ( r == 40 ) w = "frustrating" else if ( r == 41 ) w = "rude" else if ( r == 42 ) w = "pompous" else if ( r == 43 ) w = "impromptu" else if ( r == 44 ) w = "makeshift" else if ( r == 45 ) w = "so-called" else if ( r == 46 ) w = "proverbial" else if ( r == 47 ) w = "molten" else if ( r == 48 ) w = "wrinkled" else if ( r == 49 ) w = "psychotic" else if ( r == 50 ) w = "foreign" else if ( r == 51 ) w = "familiar" else if ( r == 52 ) w = "pathetic" else if ( r == 53 ) w = "precise" else if ( r == 54 ) w = "moronic" else if ( r == 55 ) w = "polka-dotted" else if ( r == 56 ) w = "varigated" else if ( r == 57 ) w = "mean-spirited" else if ( r == 58 ) w = "false" else if ( r == 59 ) w = "linguistic" else if ( r == 60 ) w = "temporal" else if ( r == 61 ) w = "fractured" else if ( r == 62 ) w = "dreamlike" else if ( r == 63 ) w = "imaginative" else if ( r == 64 ) w = "cantankerous" else if ( r == 65 ) w = "obsequious" else if ( r == 66 ) w = "twisted" else if ( r == 67 ) w = "load bearing" else if ( r == 68 ) w = "orbiting" else if ( r == 69 ) w = "radioactive" else if ( r == 70 ) w = "unstable" else if ( r == 71 ) w = "outer" else if ( r == 72 ) w = "nearest" else if ( r == 73 ) w = "most difficult" else if ( r == 74 ) w = "Eurasian" else if ( r == 75 ) w = "hairy" else if ( r == 76 ) w = "flabby" else if ( r == 77 ) w = "soggy" else if ( r == 78 ) w = "muddy" else if ( r == 79 ) w = "salty" else if ( r == 80 ) w = "highly paid" else if ( r == 81 ) w = "greasy" else if ( r == 82 ) w = "fried" else if ( r == 83 ) w = "frozen" else if ( r == 84 ) w = "boiled" else if ( r == 85 ) w = "incinerated" else if ( r == 86 ) w = "vaporized" else if ( r == 87 ) w = "nuclear" else if ( r == 88 ) w = "paternal" else if ( r == 89 ) w = "childlike" else if ( r == 90 ) w = "feline" else if ( r == 91 ) w = "fat" else if ( r == 92 ) w = "skinny" else if ( r == 93 ) w = "green" else if ( r == 94 ) w = "financial" else if ( r == 95 ) w = "frightened" else if ( r == 96 ) w = "fashionable" else if ( r == 97 ) w = "resplendent" else if ( r == 98 ) w = "flatulent" else if ( r == 99 ) w = "mitochondrial" else if ( r == 100 ) w = "overpriced" else if ( r == 101 ) w = "snooty" else if ( r == 102 ) w = "self-actualized" else if ( r == 103 ) w = "miserly" else if ( r == 104 ) w = "geosynchronous" if ( qrand(10) > 7 ) { w = GenAdverb() + " " + w } return w } function GenTransitiveVerbPhrase(tense) { var n = 56 var r = qrand(n) var s = "" if ( r == 0 ) s = "eat$" else if ( r == 1 ) s = "conquer$" else if ( r == 2 ) s = "figure$ out" else if ( r == 3 ) s = "know$" else if ( r == 4 ) s = "teach*" else if ( r == 5 ) s = "require$ assistance from" else if ( r == 6 ) s = "pour$ freezing cold water on" else if ( r == 7 ) s = "find$ lice on" else if ( r == 8 ) s = "seek$" else if ( r == 9 ) s = "ignore$" else if ( r == 10 ) s = "dance$ with" else if ( r == 11 ) s = "recognize$" else if ( r == 12 ) s = "compete$ with" else if ( r == 13 ) s = "reach* an understanding with" else if ( r == 14 ) s = "negotiate$ a prenuptial agreement with" else if ( r == 15 ) s = "assimilate$" else if ( r == 16 ) s = "bestow$ great honor upon" else if ( r == 17 ) s = "derive$ perverse satisfaction from" else if ( r == 18 ) s = "steal$ pencils from" else if ( r == 19 ) s = "tr& to seduce" else if ( r == 20 ) s = "go* deep sea fishing with" else if ( r == 21 ) s = "find$ subtle faults with" else if ( r == 22 ) s = "laugh$ and drink$ all night with" else if ( r == 23 ) s = "befriend$" else if ( r == 24 ) s = "make$ a truce with" else if ( r == 25 ) s = "give$ secret financial aid to" else if ( r == 26 ) s = "brainwash*" else if ( r == 27 ) s = "trade$ baseball cards with" else if ( r == 28 ) s = "sell$ " + GenNounPhrase(0) + " to" else if ( r == 29 ) s = "caricature$" else if ( r == 30 ) s = "sanitize$" else if ( r == 31 ) s = "satiate$" else if ( r == 32 ) s = "organize$" else if ( r == 33 ) s = "graduate$ from" else if ( r == 34 ) s = "give$ lectures on morality to" else if ( r == 35 ) s = "^ a change of heart about" else if ( r == 36 ) s = "play$ pinochle with" else if ( r == 37 ) s = "give$ a pink slip to" else if ( r == 38 ) s = "share$ a shower with" else if ( r == 39 ) s = "buy$ an expensive gift for" else if ( r == 40 ) s = "cook$ cheese grits for" else if ( r == 41 ) s = "take$ a peek at" else if ( r == 42 ) s = "pee$ on" else if ( r == 43 ) s = "write$ a love letter to" else if ( r == 44 ) s = "fall$ in love with" else if ( r == 45 ) s = "avoid$ contact with" else if ( r == 46 ) s = ") a big fan of" else if ( r == 47 ) s = "secretly admire$" else if ( r == 48 ) s = "borrow$ money from" else if ( r == 49 ) s = "operate$ a small fruit stand with" else if ( r == 50 ) s = "throw$ " + GenNounPhrase(0) + " at" else if ( r == 51 ) s = "bur&" else if ( r == 52 ) s = "can be kind to" else if ( r == 53 ) s = "learn$ a hard lesson from" else if ( r == 54 ) s = "plan$ an escape from " + GenNounPhrase(0) else if ( r == 55 ) s = "make$ love to" vt = "" var i for (i=0; i<s.length; i++ ) { var c = s.substring(i,i+1) var w = c if ( c == '$' ) { if ( tense == 0 ) w = "" else if ( tense == 1 ) w = "s" } else if ( c == '*' ) { if ( tense == 0 ) w = "" else if ( tense == 1 ) w = "es" } else if ( c == ')' ) { if ( tense == 0 ) w = "be" else if ( tense == 1 ) w = "is" } else if ( c == '^' ) { if ( tense == 0 ) w = "have" else if ( tense == 1 ) w = "has" } else if ( c == '&' ) { if ( tense == 0 ) w = "y" else if ( tense == 1 ) w = "ies" } vt += w } if ( qrand(10) < 3 ) { vt = GenAdverb() + " " + vt } return vt } function GenIntransitiveVerbPhrase() { var n = 28 var r = qrand(n) var s = "" if ( r == 0 ) s = "leaves" else if ( r == 1 ) s = "goes to sleep" else if ( r == 2 ) s = "takes a coffee break" else if ( r == 3 ) s = "hibernates" else if ( r == 4 ) s = "reads a magazine" else if ( r == 5 ) s = "self-flagellates" else if ( r == 6 ) s = "meditates" else if ( r == 7 ) s = "starts reminiscing about lost glory" else if ( r == 8 ) s = "flies into a rage" else if ( r == 9 ) s = "earns frequent flier miles" else if ( r == 10 ) s = "sweeps the floor" else if ( r == 11 ) s = "feels nagging remorse" else if ( r == 12 ) s = "returns home" else if ( r == 13 ) s = "rejoices" else if ( r == 14 ) s = "prays" else if ( r == 15 ) s = "procrastinates" else if ( r == 16 ) s = "daydreams" else if ( r == 17 ) s = "ceases to exist" else if ( r == 18 ) s = "hides" else if ( r == 19 ) s = "panics" else if ( r == 20 ) s = "beams with joy" else if ( r == 21 ) s = "laughs out loud" else if ( r == 22 ) s = "gets stinking drunk" else if ( r == 23 ) s = "wakes up" else if ( r == 24 ) s = "hesitates" else if ( r == 25 ) s = "trembles" else if ( r == 26 ) s = "ruminates" else if ( r == 27 ) s = "dies" return s } function GenConjunction() { var n = 4 var r = qrand(n) var s = "" if ( r == 0 ) s = "and" else if ( r == 1 ) s = "or" else if ( r == 2 ) s = "but" else if ( r == 3 ) s = "because" return s } function CapFirst(s) { return s.substring(0,1).toUpperCase() + s.substring(1,s.length) } function GenRandomSentence() { var stemp = GenRandomSentenceTemplate() var i var s = "" for ( i=0; i<stemp.length; i++ ) { var c = stemp.substring(i,i+1) var w = "" if ( c == '0' ) w = GenNoun() else if ( c == '1' ) w = GenNounPhrase(0) else if ( c == '2' ) w = GenTransitiveVerbPhrase(1) else if ( c == '3' ) w = GenConjunction() else if ( c == '4' ) w = GenIntransitiveVerbPhrase() else if ( c == '5' ) w = GenTransitiveVerbPhrase(0) else if ( c == '6' ) w = GenAdjective() else if ( c == '7' ) w = GenAdverb() else w = c s += w } return CapFirst(s) } // End --> </SCRIPT>
Insert into <BODY>
<CENTER> <SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript"> <!-- Begin qinit() document.write ( "<h2>Introduction</h2>" ) for ( i=0; i<5; i++ ) { document.write ( GenRandomSentence(), " " ) } for ( j=0; j<3; j++ ) { document.write ( "<h2>", CapFirst(GenNounPhrase(0)), "</h2>" ) for ( i=0; i<5; i++ ) { document.write ( GenRandomSentence(), " " ) } } document.write ( "<h2>Conclusions</h2>" ) for ( i=0; i<5; i++ ) { document.write ( GenRandomSentence(), " " ) } // End --> </SCRIPT> </CENTER>
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